Event Detail

BRAG! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing it
Program Recap

Monday, August 2, 2004

Sponsored by Citizens Bank

Executive Summary

Peggy Klaus, a communication and leadership coach, led a high-energy and interactive workshop on the art of bragging. Through interactive exercises, Peggy demonstrated how way to brag effectively with passion and story telling.

Overall Themes

Bragging is not bad. There are good ways to brag and bad ways to brag. The key is to know the difference and how to brag effectively.

Activities

• Peggy conducted several “blind” surveys, in which no one knew how anyone else was voting. In the first survey on how many people think they are good at promoting themselves, four people said they were excellent, about 30 said they were good, and about 20 said they were bad. In the second survey on how many people enjoyed promoting themselves, 10 people loved it, 30 people said it was okay and 3 people hated it. When she asked who enjoyed promoting others, the majority of people responded that they loved doing that.
• During the first exercise, Peggy had paired members of audience with someone they didn't know. Everyone had to communicate three things she is proud about herself. Peggy followed this up with the survey about the group's feelings about self-promotion.
• In the second exercise, women in pairs took turns saying three things they are proud about someone else. This was followed by the survey of the group's feelings about promoting others.
• Peggy selected someone from the audience and asked her what she did. The participant provided a standard response stating her position and her organization. Peggy felt that we tend to minimize what we do and our accomplishments. Peggy then worked individually with this audience member on her introduction, focusing on the following elements: passion, telling a story, commitment and delight. When the participant introduced herself again the group was very impressed with her passion, energy level and the way she was able to engage the audience through story telling.
• Peggy divided the group into pairs and had the participants talk in an over-the-top, excited manner about what they liked about the food at the event.
• Peggy repeated the first exercise having the same couples talk to each other about what they were proud about themselves.

Key Points

• We defined “bragging.” The audience used words such as: arrogant, egocentric, boring, pushing, obnoxious, unladylike, one-sided. Peggy defined bragging differently: a way of talking about your accomplishments in a conversational and story-like manner using memorable nuggets of information, and saying it with passion, urgency, delight and commitment. She said that you can say anything if you phrase it right – using style and substance.
• Peggy urged everyone to speak up. She said that when women talk quietly, it stops them from being heard.
• Peggy asked everyone to be specific about the types of behaviors that constitute bad bragging and good bragging. Bad bragging behaviors include: taking all the credit or conversely, taking no credit; using non sequiturs; not paying attention to social skills; changing the subject; name dropping; and giving a laundry list of accomplishments.
• Peggy pointed to studies that show if you don't self promote you won't get ahead. She said that it's particularly essential for women, who tend to stay with one company, keep their head down and do their work. They mistakenly believe that if they do a good job their quality will show through, but instead they often get upset because they are passed over for promotion. Peggy said that men, on the other hand, tend to move around more from company to company and they have more opportunities to re-introduce themselves.
• Peggy shared what behaviors work in promoting yourself: using stories and anecdotes, being funny, direct, passionate, confident, and sharing your delight with the audience. Peggy gave us a workshop to complete “a bragalogue” that tells your story. By answering questions, such as – what you love about your current career, what obstacles did you have to overcome, and what successes are you proud of having accomplished – you can prepare a bragologue.
• Peggy said that people tend to project less of themselves when they are in situations that make them nervous – e.g., talking in front of an audience, speaking with their CEOs. To combat that she uses a technique of going over-the-top – exaggerating your excitement and pumping yourself up either through an outward or inward dialogue. When we repeated the initial exercise of telling our partner something we are proud about ourselves, the group delivered it in a more interesting and enthusiastic manner.

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